Q1 *WHY WAS THIS FAQ MADE?
Q2 *WHAT IS A VORPAL BUNNY? 
Q3 *WHERE CAN I FIND A PICTURE OF A VORPAL BUNNY?
Q4 *WHAT DO I DO IF SOMEONE ASKS ME "WHAT'S A VORPAL BUNNY?"
Q6 *HOW DID YOU PICK THE NAME FOR YOURSELF?
Q7 *SO WHAT DOES THE NAME MEAN FOR YOU? WHY VORPAL BUNNY? 
Q9 *WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN VORPAL BUNNY AND VORPAL BUNNY(TM)? 
Q10 *ARE THERE OTHER VORPAL BUNNIES IN THE WORLD?
Q11 *WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A FAN CLUB? 
Q12 *WHAT'S THIS ABOUT 'REVEREND BUNNY?'
Q13 *IS VORPAL BUNNY A MUTANT?
Q14 *WHY DO YOU KEEP SWITCHING BETWEEN THE FIRST PERSON AND THIRD PERSON?
Q15 *WHAT DOES YOUR .SIG MEAN? AND WHY IS "GERMAN" EMPHASIZED? 
Q16 *DO YOU LOOK ANYTHING LIKE THAT GUY WHO PLAYS ENSIGN KIM ON
VOYAGER?
Q18 *AM I GOING TO REGRET THIS?
=====================================================================

Q1 [WHY WAS THIS FAQ MADE?]

Because I was getting bloody tired of people asking me, "What's a
Vorpal Bunny?" "Where did you get that name?" "Boy, that sounds
stupid, why don't you pick a real name?" and other questions like
that. It's not that I don't LIKE writing the exact same answer to
people 10 times a week, I just figured it would save me a lot of
hassle to make this and mail it out to anyone who was insane enough to
actually want to know.


Q2 [WHAT IS A VORPAL BUNNY?]

A Vorpal Bunny is a creation from the movie _MONTY PYTHON AND THE
HOLY GRAIL_. If you don't remember it, the Vorpal Bunny appears in the
same scene that Arthur decides to use the HOLY HAND GRENADE. The Bunny
is the target of said grenade. I personally don't remember if the
rabbit was mentioned by name, I fell asleep during most of the movie,
and woke up during the last five minutes. (As a note, I have never, ever
seen the entire movie, ironic, no?)

If you don't know what I'm talking about, (the movie, not about me 
falling asleep) then go to your nearest video rental store and rent a 
copy of the movie, but _DON'T_ watch the "Director's Cut" of the movie, 
the version that showed up on the Comedy Channel last January. (The 
Comedy Channel is a cable TV channel that's availble in most of the US, 
I don't know about Europe) This version was the movie with the audio 
track dubbed out by the directors congratulating each other for two 
straight hours. If I wanted two hours of droning speech, I'll just go
listen to my roommate talk about why life sucks. What's even worse
is that they talked DURING all of the good jokes, including the
"African Swallow" bit at the beginning.


Q3 [WHERE CAN I FIND A PICTURE OF A VORPAL BUNNY?]

Point your browers towards http://www.vorpalbunny.com . There is a picture 
of a Vorpal Bunny on the first page. The picture was drawn by Jason Carrier, 
 my roommate during freshman year. It was computer-colored by yours truly. 
You can download it at your leisure.

An actual photo of me is now available at http://www.vorpalbunny.com/vacation/ . 
They're shots from the five months I spent in Europe. I'll throw up the journal entries
 to go along with them later.


Q4 [WHAT DO I DO IF SOMEONE ASKS ME, "WHAT'S A VORPAL BUNNY?"]

Tell them that "Vorpal Bunny is a mysterious and powerful galactic
force. Simply talking about what a Vorpal Bunny is will instantly cause 
planets and galaxies to explode." 

If they keep bugging you, tell them about the fan club, and how they 
can join. If they won't leave you alone, hit them a couple times. If 
they're bigger than you, remember their names and faces, find out where 
they live, and then think really nast thoughts about them. You can also 
stick your tongue out at them. I encourage people to sacrifice themselves
in my name. I'll think kindly of you, that's the kind of guy I am.


Q6 [HOW DID YOU PICK THE NAME FOR YOURSELF?]

*THIS IS REALLY LONG, AND REALLY BORING. READ AT YOUR OWN RISK*

Well, I had no bloody idea that the Vorpal Bunny had anything to do
with MONTY PYTHON, whom I assumed to be a really big snake from
England.

Instead, I got it from a BBS (bulletin-board service(or system))
located in northern Virginia. On it, (the Rapid Transit System, if
you're interested) there was a continuing stories message base. This
was a message base where one user who post a chapter of a story, and
others would follow up by writing their own chapter to the same story.

In one such story, a BBSer whose name I cannot remember introduced
the deadly Vorpal Bunnies. I'm pretty sure the writer's name started
with an 'M,' but it was an alias...oh well...his loss.

The name stuck for a while. Then, when DRAGON MAGAZINE had a short
story contest, I used the name again. The objective was to do a 100
word story on "Why I Love Giant Space Hamsters." I wrote two stories,
one with the bunnies, and one without. The one without the bunnies got
printed, while the other languished in some intern's trash can.

The name was meaningless until I hit college. In the fall of 1993,
I needed a pseudonym on Syracuse University's computer systems. Well,
I didn't NEED one, but it would sound SO much dramatic if I had a
catchy name every time I had something witty to say. "You were brought
back from the brink of death and destruction by the awe-inspiring
might of.....(dramatic name)!!" Yes, a name which inspired fear and 
dread in all.

I needed a symbol, an identity. Usenetters are a cowardly and
superstitious lot, and I needed something which would strike the fear
of God in them, and for atheists, the fear of Microsoft. If the universe
had a sense of humor, I would have been struck by a flying rabbit at that
moment.

The universe does, though, it's just not the same sense of humor as
mine, and so nothing dramatic, cute, or even moderately amusing happened.
It was more of a "feh" than anything. I figgured "Aaaah...what the heck."
And thanks to the magic of the chfn command on UNIX, it was an
easy task. (You know, that sounded a LOT funnier when I wrote it...)

(Short version: It sounded cool.)


Q7 [SO WHAT DOES THE NAME MEAN FOR YOU? WHY VORPAL BUNNY?]

*THIS IS EVEN MORE TEDIOUS, AND POSSIBLY LONGER.*

Well, there are several factors here, a lot of which I am making
up on the spot.

1) I played D&D when I was younger, and in the game, one could
encounter Vorpal Swords, which were magical blades which could
behead people. I thought that the name nicely reflected one of
my past hobbies, (playing D&D, not beheading people.)as well as my 
persona. This is why when you log onto my home page, you'll see a 
bunny with a bloody sword. 

Of course, the ironic thing is, I have, never, ever, in my life
finished a single game of D&D. My attention span shorts out after
the first hour. Actually, it shorts out after the first ten
minutes. I'm just a good actor.

2) In the Chinese Zodiac, my sign is the rabbit. So, it kind
of fits. You should realize that I thought about this about 
three months AFTER I picked the name.

3) In the poem "Jabberwocky" by Lewis Caroll (sp?), a
characters uses a "vorpal" blade. I am a literary freak of
sorts, and more importantly, I played Tweedle-Dee in my
fifth-grade production of _Alice in Wonderland_. (And no, I
wasn't Tweedle-Dum, and I don't care if you think it would
have been more appropriate.) Since _Alice in Wonderland_
was written by Mr.Caroll as well, it fits in.

This is another example of me stretching things to fit the
name. I just came up with this about five months ago.

Oh, thanks to Dave Van Dommelen
(dvandom@magnus.acs.ohio-state.edu) for mentioning the poem
"Jabberwocky" on a post in RACM. If it wasn't for him and
someone else (tyg?)(tyg@netcom.com) who knew the poem, I would
never have found out about the "vorpal" reference.

4) I dunno. I think a rabbit does a pretty good job of
representing me, both mentally and physically. Although I am
much taller than a rabbit, around 6'2. 


Q9 [WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN VORPAL BUNNY AND VORPAL BUNNY(TM)?]

The Vorpal Bunny(TM) is the original article. Everything else is
just a cheap imitation If you are a Vorpal Bunny, my lawyers will
be contacting you soon.


Q10 [ARE THERE OTHER VORPAL BUNNIES IN THE WORLD?]

I haven't met any Vorpal Bunnies before or after me. There IS a
Clan of Vorpal Bunnies who reside at a mud on marble.bu.edu 5000. 
(thanks to Andre Chou for that tidbit) The Bunnies are led by a
student at Georgia Tech by the name of Joseph Swanson
(gt7589a@prism.gatech.edu). He does not go by the name Vorpal Bunny,
and neither do the rest of his followers. Joseph has no ties to the
Vorpal Bunny Fan Club, and would probably be confused as hell if you
decided to e-mail him.

There is also some link between Vorpal Bunnies and the game Magic:
The Gathering. Addison Goddel aka desperado aka Volatios
(lgodeljr@netcom.com) has enlightened me to these facts:

"There is a card called Rabid Wombat which some associate with Vorpal
Bunnies." and...

"The card Ebon Praetor features a giant evil bunny checking into 
Heck."

I have never played Magic:The Gathering, so I have no idea what these
cards do. For those of you who don't know what Magic:The Gathering is,
it is a card game where by using various cards, you can cast spells and
wage war against other card players. It reminds me of blackjack with
thermonuclear devices. It's also a rather splending way to lose your
social life and bankrupt yourself.

Vorpal Bunnies show up in the game Quest for Glory IV, or so I'm
told. Addison Goddel enlightened me to the fact that these Vorpal
Bunnies are quite vicious and inspire fear in all. They are an 
opponent of the character you control, and you must face and defeat
these creatures. Earlier reports which stated that the Vorpal Bunnies
were the weakest opponents in the game were wrong. The only thing that's
regrettable is that some fiend has found a way to twist the noble Vorpal
Bunny to serve his eveil plots. 

Addison also draws a comic strip which features a Vorpal Bunny. Where
he got the inspiration, I don't know. So far, Addison appears to be
the only member of the fan club who has seen it. If he would be good
enough to scan it in and upload it somewhere, that'd be hunky dory. 
According to Addison, Vorpal Bunny defeats evil menaces in his comic
strip. Hopefully, that Vorpal Bunny has dispatched CANDRA, BARNEY
THE DINOSAUR and FABIO.

As you can tell by this, Addison is a rather frightening young man
with simply way too much free time, and I probably should get him a
girlfriend one of these days.

In the Fiend Folio addition to the AD&D Monstrous Compendium
collection, there is an entry for Vorpal Bunnies. Actually, the
monster in question is NOT referred to as a Vorpal Bunny, instead, it
is known by another name. However, it is affectionately nicknamed a
Vorpal Bunny. Still, this is considered to be an honorary use of the
name at best, as Vorpal Bunny is not being used as an actual name for
the creature.

There is also a Vorpal Bunny Fan Club. (see below)

Contrary to popular opinion, there is no relationship between the
Vorpal Bunny, or the TRIX RABBIT. The sames goes for the CADBURY RABBIT
as well (those damn Easter jokes stop getting funny after a while). I 
don't know HOW someone came up with this, but there is _ZIPPO_ connection 
to SUGAR BEAR, the mascot of that cereal Super Golden something. 

I find this doubly insulting, as SUGAR BEAR delights in beating up old
women and stealing their breakfast. I mean, really, what kind of role
model is he? And he doesn't even wear any pants!

There is also a Vorpal Bunny (no trademark) located at TEXAS A&M and
well..do we really need to say any more?

Finally, there is a new MONTY PYTHON & THE HOLY GRAIL computer game
out for the IBM PC. Vorpal Bunnies do show up in that one. It should be
out as of Fall 1996.

These are the most up-to-date references of the Vorpal Bunny. 
As for other bunnies, there is a Yeti Bunny, but there is currently only
one incarnation of the Vorpal Bunny(TM). 


Q11 [WHAT'S THIS ABOUT A FAN CLUB?]

In the first quarter of 1995, a fellow by the name of Alasdair
Watson, proving that one can never have too much free time or
creativity (although not at the same time), founded the Vorpal Bunny fan
club. The club was first announced on the newsgroup
rec.arts.comics.marvel.xbooks, where it has flourished. Well, actually,
that's a lie, but it's only a small lie (no one outside of the VBFC is
aware that that the VBFC exists nowadays).

Since Alasdair is the President, the closest thing to a
headquarters the club has would be his place of residence, which is in
the UK. 

The fan club has since been disbanded by Alasdair, in his one moment of
lucidity. Fortunately, I live in denial, and am ignoring that. So
depending on who you ask, there may or may not be a fan club. So I guess
you could say I'm the first quantum entity on USENET.

The FAQ maintainer has now been to the UK. He can now point out 
England, Scotland and Northern Ireland on a map. Wales, even. He has 
absolutely no idea where the Isle of Man is, but then, no one does.

Contrary to rumor, the headquarters of the VBFC is not a wonderful 
place full of delight and profundity. It is a house in the suburbs. 
There's a comic book store nearby though, and a half-way decent selection 
of pubs.



Alasdair can be reached at alasdair@belmonte.demon.co.uk . He is
armed with rotten fruit, which he will hurl at the slightest
provocation. He has recently moved to Edinburgh to attend a uni there. 
A shame, really. Edinburgh was such a nice city.

The charter, intent, and meanings of the club are currently
unknown, as an official charter, intent or meaning has never been
released. However, it's a very cool club, and it has almost six
members. Membership is free, you just have to declare that you're a
member. It is currently believed that this club has the most open
membership, beating the Church of the Sub-Genius and the Cult of
Cthulu. Several people have been inducted into the VBFC without their
knowledge. 

The formation of the club has reaffirmed the FAQ writer's belief
that Europeans aren't nearly as sane as they like to think they are.


Q12 [WHAT'S THIS ABOUT 'REVEREND BUNNY?']

In the last week of March of 1995, the FAQ writer was ordained by
the Universal Life Church! It was pretty neat, you just send them your
address, and they'll ordain you for free. It's valid, at least in the
state of California, but then, just about everything else is valid
there so it doesn't mean that much. Whether or not the ULC is an
actual church is debatable. The brochure they sent was very big,
almost.... forty pages!! And reading through it would mean that yours
truly would have to think.

Still, Vorpal Bunny is now available for weddings, funerals and
baptisms. His idiot roommate has been damned to hell about two times
already. Unfortunately, summoning a swarm of locusts seems to be
impossible at this time.

In case you're wondering, no, this does not mean that sanity has
just been thrown out the windows. It's much too late for that. It was
done mainly to satisfy a blank space on the FAQ writers
resume. Second, a person who lived on the same floor wanted yours
truly to officiate at her "wedding." (in parenthesis for a reason)
Also, there was a need on the newsgroups syr.rainbow and
rec.arts.comics.xbooks for a staff reverend. So someone had to do it!
Why that someone is me, I don't know.


Q13 [IS VORPAL BUNNY A MUTANT?]

Yes. Readers of RACMX know that Vorpal Bunny has the mutant power to
instantly, without consequence, on a whim, and for free, start up a 
discussion about Jem. For those of you who do now know who Jem is, she is 
a cartoon character. Jem is the leader of the Holograms, a rock and roll 
group. Her secret identity is Jerica Benton. Why she needs one is a reason 
that has been lost in time. Needless to say, Jem is very insecure about 
herself.

This is a truly awesome power, or as Jem would say, truly truly truly
outrageous. So far it has been used only twice. Once, inadvertently on
RACX, during the great cartoon thread. Once, when Mike Z dared yours
truly to do it (you still owe me a keg of beer of Mike). 

Curiously enough, there have been more posts ABOUT the Jem thread 
than there were in the actual thread itself. Maybe people were inspired,
pissed, or thought it was truly truly truly outrageous. Who knows?


Q14 [WHY DO YOU KEEP SWITCHING BETWEEN THE FIRST PERSON AND THIRD PERSON?]

Well, most FAQS are written in the third person, so it's natural
for culturally ignorant, unimaginative dolts like yours truly to want
to imitate whatever works. However, doing so severely limits the puns
and jokes one can do. Plus, using the phrases "yours truly" and 
"the FAQ writer" are really annoying. Finally, finding clever ways to
not use the word "I" or "myself" take up too much. So occassionally,
I'll slip. (intentional slip there) However, it's for the good of
mankind and clean humor.


Q15 [WHAT DOES YOUR .SIG MEAN? AND WHY IS "GERMAN" EMPHASIZED?]


My .sig (signature file) sometimes reads:

\\ \\      |_/ "Jesus is now depicted in Oberammergau as a sissy with 12 \_|
 \\-\\     |_\ idiots following behind him, moaning, 'He's gonna die, he's /_|
( X-X) |_/ gonna die'." - Anonymous *GERMAN* Critic in Oberammergau. \_|
{_^_} -|_\ Liberator of Wheeler's Couches! E-Mail:holee@syr.edu /_|

The quote is from an article in the WASHINGTON POST about the current 
state of affairs in a German passion play. The previous .sig didn't have 
the word "German" At all. The reason the word "German" is emphasized is 
that someone with absolutely no sense of humor on alt.fan.pratchett took 
it upon herself to chastise me as trying to further American imperalism 
by not being able to stay silent on politcal correctness in Europe.

This would have made sense if: A) I was an American at that time. B)
It was an American who said the quote. C) I gave a shit about political 
correctness.

I just picked the quote because it was cute. And at that time, I was 
still a Korean citizen. Go figgure.


Q16 [DO YOU LOOK ANYTHING LIKE THAT GUY WHO PLAYS ENSIGN KIM ON VOYAGER?]

No. 


Q18 [AM I GOING TO REGRET THIS?]

You know, that's the one question *EVERYONE* asks. I wonder why?



*THE END* (Boy, you're actually up to this part? Wow. I'm impressed. I
lost interest after the fourth question)