Well, after a month, the Priest vs Flan contest is over. There were several points, the main being "what do the fans consider to be more important? A comic book writer or Chicken Flan?"

I judged the entires on a purely whimsical standard which was skewed to begin with. Yet despite my best machinations, enough fans chimed in to declare that Christopher J. Priest is more popular than Chicken Flan, although only by two votes.

I'd like to thank our five judges, and our sixth tie-breaker judge who had to be called in on an emergency basis. They are:

Mark "Almost as Huggable as a Woodchuck, and Much Cleaner" Waid
Tom "Why Can't We All Just Get Along" Vincent
Tony "Who Exactly Decides Who America's Most Beloved Comic Writer is Anyway? And Can I Buy Them Off Next Year?" Isabella
Larry "Yes, the Same Larry Hama from MASH" Hama
Lawrence "If You Want My Ponytail, You'll Have to Come Back East" Watt-Evans-Windsor-Holyfield-Churchill-Smith-Kennedy-Backman-Herrick- Skywalker-Odinson

And

Omar "I'm Not Just the President of Hair Club for Men, I'm Also a Client" Banmally

Thanks a lot, folks. I was really worried I asked sterling, respectable members of society with iron-clad morals who could not be bought off. Thank Cthulu I was wrong. ;-) Here's what y'all had to say (None of the spelling errors were corrected. This will teach you louts to skip using a spell checker):

Abhay "Gratuitous Sucking Up ALWAYS Works. Although the Incoherent Rambling Could Use Some Work" Khosla

OH WHOOPS, I posted my answer. I hope I deleted it in time(sometimes that works, sometimes it doesn't....). Sorry if I didn't. WHOOPS!!!! God, I feel so stupid now(30 minutes ago, I rented a movie with Dennis Rodman and NOW I feel stupid? My priorities are all messed up...) WHOOPS!!!!! Damn, damn, damn...

On 12 Oct 1997, Hosun Scanty Lee wrote:
> FINAL UPDATE: THE CHRISTOPHER PRIEST VS CHICKEN FLAN CONTEST
> WEEK: 4 *THE FINAL WEEK*

> To re-cap the contest:

> Send in an essay, poem, song, drawing, etc. of 100 words or less
> (or the equivalent) explaining why Christopher J. Priest is better
> than Chicken Flan. Failing that, explain why Chicken Flan is
> better than Christopher J. Priest.

100 words sure is tough. Hoo-boy. How do you draw something of 100 words or less? Here goes:

Its hard to prove anything "superior"(Priest babysits your children; Flan feeds them- economy decides preference). Nonetheless, three reasons favoring Christopher Priest:

Tetherball is a popular game. Priest's severed head, given sufficient embalming, could be an excellent ball; Flan, as I imagine it, would be mushy. Priest's component parts have greater utility than Flan's.

Intraconvertibility: An expert chef could convert Priest into something adequately Flan-like. The reverse would be a macabre mockery of Frosty the Snowman.

Flan benefits the recipient chemically once. Priest given life support could be a farm of pharmaceutical biochemicals & transplant organs; the global demand is astronomical.

-Abhay
akhosla@umich.edu

Liked the letter in Q&W... made me laugh....

Here's what the Critics Had to Say...

"First place! Da winnah!" - Lawrence Watt-Evans.

"He mentioned decapitation. I don't think we decapitate nearly enough comic-book professionals. This would be a good start." - Tony Isabella.

"The army would love to get their hands on him. (I was tempted to drop his entry since he saw a Dennis Rodman movie..." - Me.

Ian "Heart of a Poet. Mind of a Lunatic" York

My entries in the "Why Christopher Priest is better than Chicken Flan" contest. You did say that sonnets were okay, right? It isn't a very good sonnet, so I include an equally bad haiku as a warmup:

Evil chicken flan ("F" on its spandex)
Considers the Earth its moveable feast.
But wait! "P" on his chest, biceps aflex,
Defender of justice, Christopher Priest,
The planet's last hope, has entered the fray!
The Earth holds its breath. Evil flan's powers
are awesome--flan strength, the fearsome flan ray,
The flanapult, that topples great towers.
And now they collide, these giants in tights!
The flan, though mighty, is soon outsmarted
Priest, in his cunning, delivers last rites
And eats the flan! The evil plot's thwarted!

As ever, evil had half-baked its plan.
Thus Christopher Priest is better than flan.

Here's what the Critics Had to Say...

"One word....FLANAPULT!!!!" - Omar Banmally.

"Writing sonnets to comic-book writers? That would creep me out even more except that York is probably British--one expects that from them--and makes a damn good peppermint patty." - Tony Isabella.

"And flan. Don't forget that the British have flan available in your local Sainsbury's. And it's got meat in it, too." - Me.

Alan "You Really Frighten Me. Please Stay at Least 200 Miles Away" Milligan.

I know that this is late. It's also four times as long as asked. But, I felt it important to warn all of you of the conspiracy. Read it, and heed my warnings. You won't have a second chance.

The man who calls himself Christopher J. Priest is not what he seems. By means of subterfuge, he has often set himself up to be less interesting and talented than the average serving of chicken flan, not to mention higher in calories. His overall worth to society is constantly brought into question- witness the Triumph miniseries. But, this is all an act, a ruse to draw our attention from the truth....

And the truth is that Priest is actually the Ultra-Humanite!

You see, four years ago, after his defeat by the Justice Society of America, the UH realized that he was getting nowhere confronting the JSA using his usual methods- subterfuge, direct combat, capturing them, and so on. So, he developed a special plan. After leaving a clone of himself in the DCU (so as to not arouse suspicion), he quickly built himself a dimension travel device and came to Earth-R. Our Earth.

There, he slowly assimilated himself into our culture, and learned that by working on comic books, he could directly affect the futures of the JSA. He realized that he needed to become a writer/editor at DC, and after months of observation, chose his target: Jim Owsley. He transferred his brain into his chosen host, and continued along, as if nothing was going on... but astute readers could see the difference. Only a madman could have come up the Malvolio storyline, for example.

Over his years, the Ultra-Humanite, in the guise of Owsley/Priest, has done his best to destroy the JSA and promote villainy. Is it coincidence that Priest wrote JLTF, which boasted Despero as a member? Or that he wrote The Ray, wherein the Golden age hero¹s son, Josh, has serious mental problems? Or that he wrote the final story arc of Hawkman, in which Vandal Savage¹s life is spared, and wherein Carter and Shiera Hall are banished to another dimension? Did Priest not submit a proposal for a Jesse Quick series? What nefarious plots would he unleash then? I wouldn¹t be surprised if he had a hand in the plotting of Zero Hour #4.

Someday, when the JSA has been destroyed, the Ultra-Priest-Humanite will reveal himself, and conquer the globe. Have no doubt of this. And no man, beast, or chicken dish will save us then.

Here's What the Critics Had to Say

"This is too confusing for me to say anything." - Omar Banmally.

"Priest as the Ultra-Hummanite. Yes, this makes sense. That is why some fans see him as a 1940s movie actress and some as an albino gorilla. The clear reference to Earth-2 also shows Milligan as a fan of perception and wit. Plus he paid me $100. He wins." - Tony Isabella.

"It almost made sense...in a acid-induced, head-crushed sort of way" - Me.

Dan "If Only My Mother Had Named Me Abhay" Coyle

CHRISTOPHER PREIST VS. CHICKEN FLAN

Chapter 1

1999
Center of the Apocalypse, also known as Love Park in Philadelphia

The Heart of the Storm was growing above Love Park.

The Enterprise-E had opened fire on Babylon 5.

Nash Bridges and Crockett were locked in a battle to the death.

But that's another story.

this is the story of a little episode in the mother of all crossover stories yet to be written by Daniel Coyle.

It is the tale of the battle of Christopher J. Priest, writer of some of the best comic books released in 1997 (that be Solar: Hell on Earth, Xer0, and Quantum and Woody) and his life and death struggle with...

Chicken flan.

>From the journals of Dan Coyle:

"Doesn't Hosun have anything better to do with his time?!"

Elayne's words were very prphetic two years ago, weren't they? Here I am, traveling thru love Park, trying to reach Arturo and Dr. Who, who were contsructing a Quantum Slide TARDIS, when I was suddenly confronted by...

Chicken Flan. LIVING chicken Flan. With death in its eyes.

actually, I only knew it was chicken flan when a voice behind me yelled: COYLE!! GET AWAY FROM THAT CHICKEN FLAN!!

to be continued...

What the Critics Had to Say

"He ranks last because of his initials. I suspect tampering." - Tony Isabella.

"Anyone who can associate Don Johnson and Christopher Priest deserves cool points from me." - Omar Banmally.

"Man, and I thought *I* had flippant standards for judging..." - Me.

Mike "Not Enough Use of Flan" Zeidler

"Untitled"
By Mike Zeidler

Harken near
so that you may hear
my story, old as time
told to you in a rhyme.

Chris Priest the writer was sitting at home,
wondering why he was alone.
"Is it my breath? Could that be?"
"Or is it my temper? No, not that I see"

So as he sat and wondered,
his servant came and blundered
into him.

"Look where you're going!"
"I'm sorry, 'twas rowing
And I do apologize for an discomfort I've caused"
The Writer then paused.

"What did you say?"
"I'm sorry was that that I said"
Christopher scratched his head.

"Sorry? what does this mean?"
"Why sorry is a word that is keen"
"It means you are regretful for things you have done"
"Anything?" asked Priest.
"Yes sir, anything under the sun.
But you must mean what you say,
otherwise people may
not believe that you're truly sorry."

"Thank you good servant, I'll be in your debt forever"
"A debt sir? oh no I'd never..."
"BE QUIET! I say what I mean, and I mean what I say."
"But sire, it was nothing, not worthy of debit."
"Yes servant, it was as I've learned a great lesson."

"I'll accept when I make a mistake from now on.
Surely this has been one to grow on!"

"I'll really be sorry, this is my plan,
Now attend to me Hosun, and bring me some flan."

So ends my story, of Priest's new plan,
Which proves he is better than Chicken Flan.

What the Critics Had to Say...

"Writing poems to comic-book writers? Not that there's anything wrong with that, mind you, it just creeps me out." - Tony Isabella.

"What can I say? I like poetry." - Larry Hama.

".....lacks the image of the tetherball." - Tom Vincent.

"Insufficient reference to flan!" - Lawrence Watt-Evans.

"Yup. The lack of specific mentions of flan really hurt this entry. Read the rules!" - Me.

Michael "Klordny" Grabois

Well next thing you know there's a writer name of Priest,
Hosun's now gone mad, he's turned into a beast.
From Quantum and Woody he's fixated on a goat --
When Priest is making flan, it's really worth a vote.
(The dessert flan, not the chicken kind.)

Priest vs. chicken flan? Priest, 4 rounds. But only because chicken flan doesn't exist.

Batya "I'm Sure There's a Point to This" No Last Name

Hi. You don't know me, but I've been following your flan-related posts on the rac. groups for rather a while. Certainly since the great "Yes, it has meat in it! No, it's a dessert custard! No, it has meat, dammit!" debate on, what was it, RACMX? I've definitely been watching for flan-type subject matter since PAD wrote it into Supergirl, in a particularly flan-tastic issue.

Now, as it happens, I believe that flan does come in meat-filled varieties. The problem is that so far this has had to be a leap of faith on my part. I want to try it at a restaurant. Do you know anywhere I could get a meat-filled flan in the S.F.-Bay Area? I've never actually seen it anywhere. What kind of cuisine is it? Spanish? Basque? Please, help. If you keep taunting me with meat-filled flan, I'll surely go mad.

Batya

P.S. I couldn't possibly comment on Priest vs. Flan yet. I've been reading and loving Quantum and Woody since the first issue, but I simply don't have enough experience with flan. Who knows - the meat-filled variety might be better than Woody in the Woodchuck suit.

Jim "Automatically Entered" Smith

To compare Christopher J. Priest to Flan is a question that very few people would ever ask. Still, I suppose one should go about answering it, if anything, it'll pass the time.

What is flan? Is it a dessert? Is it a main dish? Is it an appetizer? Is it a custard, a pie, or a well-cooked morsel? It is a word with centuries of history behind it. It is a food which has changed with every person born. With every delicate and coarse hand that touches an oven, the nature of flan itself always changes, taking away from it what was once flan and replacing it with flan.

What is Christopher J. Priest? He is a man, a writer, a comic, a cousin, a son and a friend. He is both light and dark, happy and sad, angry and joyous. Can we really say he is who he is? For Christopher J. Priest is but a babe, barely four years old. He is an infant with the mind of a sage. Like flan, he is a man who is by nature, an ephemeral, transforming figure. Christopher J. Priest does not exist, but the man is very much alive and real.

Therefore, some might say that Priest does not exist, he is a figment, a moment in time. But then, there are those who deny the very existance of flan. There are those who mock it, denigrate it, attempt to give it an identity that it does not own. There are men and women in this world who do not understand what flan is, choosing instead to view it by their own perspective.

They limit it. They categorize it. They refuse all surprises and crave predictability.

Priest versus Flan. One if a human being, the other is a food product. Humans create food. We are the masters. Yet flan comes with a rich, sometimes creamy history that no man can ever compete with, for no man alive has travelled through the centuries from infancy to senility intact. To remove Flan from existance is not quite so silly a question. You are denigrating a cultural legacy, editing history, disparaging the accomplishments of others. Everything in life comes with a legacy that spans the ages. We should show respect, if not love. Yet, the question is....is the embodiment of the accomplishments of many....is this thing worth the soul of a man?

If Flan disappears one day, will people notice? Yes. Will people ache? Possibly. Will the world surive. Inevitably. If Priest disappears one day, will people notice? Yes. Will people ache? Possibly. Will the world survive? Inevitably.

Which world do you want to live in, one without a custard, or one without a man? Can you love a custard? Can you love a man?

This was no contest. It was a farce, a ridiculous joke from a ridiculous clown. It deserves no answer for there is no question.

This entry has been automatically entered for Jim Smith. - H.L.

Troy "He Did Send an Entry, But I Lost It" McNemar

Eric "Stirge" Sturgeon

Oh, and can I preference thrid prize? Food I got, Q&W #1 I got, the !mpact Who's Who I don't got. Well, I got #2 and 3, but not #1. Assuming, of course, that I have any chance of winning anyway. Which is highly debatable.

That second paragraph wasn't part of my essay. Neither is this one.

Bala "I Can't Count to 100" Menon

So what are you saying ? That Priest's better than nothing ?

Mmmm ...

well ...

I'd have to argue that Priest's better.

Let's take a look at the three options we've got:
(a) he's better
(b) he's worse
(c) they're precisely equal
If we were to focus on (c) as an argument, we then state that Priest is the precise equivalent of chicken flan:

Of course, we could stretch this by logical fallacies. Since we know that chicken flan is the equivalent of nothing, we can use it as a comparison:
(1) Hosun's got Priest on his head.
(2) Hosun's got _nothing_ on (or in) his head

So by that argument, it becomes a draw between Priest and chicken flan. Still, any self-respecting sentient parademon could poke a hole in that logic, so we must assume that Priest is _not_ precisely the equivalent of nothing.

Which means he's either better than chicken flan or worse: the coin does _not_ fall on its edge.

So let's turn to the idea of choosing between them:

Chicken flan is okay: you know it's a non-existent construct, so it doesn't bother your mind. Priest, on the other hand, can't let your mind alone: he bugs the daylights out of you. Just when you agree after several decades of painstaking comics reading that Vandal Savage is a villain, Priest walks in and dismisses the very concept of villains (well, except Dr. Villain, but that's French). Morally ambiguous is a pain in the neck; it's like not knowing whether the Sailor Stars are male or female. Point to chicken flan.

* * *

Chicken flan is a Bizarro world version of normal flan. Only Bizarros would try to make a non-sweet flan.

Priest, by contrast, is a Bizarro world version of ... hmm ... Rob Liefeld ! Yeah, that's it ! Rob Liefeld created Cable, and Priest created the Bizarro counterpart, Xero ! (Oh, come on ! He's a tall guy with one glowing eye, carries big guns and stars in a comic whose title begins with X ! He plays basketball, just like the X-Men used to play baseball. How much more obvious do you have to get ?!!). The only mistake Priest made was that he also Bizarro-copied Cable's sales figures. Ah, well, everyone's entitled to one boo-boo.

Still, this is a lot less ridiculous than chicken flan, so point to Priest here.

* * *

Chicken flan is a ridiculous notion ... about as ridiculous as ... oh, say, Shaquille O'Neal putting on a hideous piece of metalware on his face and going out to stop crime. Now you know why criminals are a cowardly, superstitious lot: if you had maniacs who wore ugly masks like Hannibal Lecter's coming after you, you'd be petrified too. In all fairness, Priest does a considerably better book than that, so I'm giving this point to Priest.

* * *

Priest coined the term "Crab-Faced Guy". This is good. This is cool. This is a fabulously brilliant case of precision thinking.

It's a hideously huge addition of good karma to Priest's tally.

Chicken flan's just a ridiculous non-existent term. Several points to Priest.

* * *

And those several points carry him well into the victory zone (what, you thought I was going to keep going all night ?! You've gotta be joking ! Like chicken flan ...).

Ladies, gentlemen, Hosun: I give you Priest.
Better than chicken flan, and less fattening.

Greg "Elmo" Morrow

Elayne "Yum-Yum" Wechsler-Chaput

Now leave me alone. :)

I meant it exactly as I said it. Priest tastes very nice. I *have* kissed him, you know.

Francis "I Have Not Kissed Him" Uy

4) Chicken Flan is namesake to a dessert so fatty that it causes arterial damage just to think about it, whereas Quantum & Woody comics are a fat-free source of roughage.

3) I've never seen nor enjoyed Chicken Flan, but I own some good Owsley comics.

2) Priest is not a real priest, Flan is not a real flan (nyah).

1) Priest changed his name to avoid confusion, Chicken Flan didn't.

Clay "That Was Actually His Middle Name" Peterson

I don't usually participate in these wacky Bunny(TM) games, but I figured, why not? Here is my essay. And, in the unlikely chance that I win anything, I'd rather have the packing foam. And maybe the recipe.

Ahem.

WHY I THINK CHRISTOPHER PRIEST IS BETTER THAN CHICKEN FLAN by CLAY PETERSON

I have only read one thing written by Mr. Priest, and he wasn't even Mr. Priest at the time. The work in question is the graphic novel _Spider-Man vs. Wolverine_. I thought (and still think) it was pretty good. Even though Spidey should've whupped that sorry so-and-so from here to eternity and back. But then, I like it when *any* X-Man gets beaten up.

On the other hand, I have *never* tasted chicken flan. In fact, I didn't even know it existed until this contest. And while I like "chicken," I'm not sure how I would react to "flan." It sounds uncomfortably close to "flannel." Which I enjoy wearing, but not eating. So when I compare _Spidey vs. Wolvie_ to eating flannel, the former wins. So there.

Keith "At Least it was Under 100 Words" Counsell

Flan beats man.

I'm really writing about your .sig quote, though; can you tell me where it's from? Thanks!

Jacob "I Think I Misspelled His Last Name" Michaels

Chicken flan, despite being an inferior cousin of real flan, is better than Christopher Priest because it can give you life-sustaining nutrients so you can contniue to read comics.

Granted, chicken flan has never written comics like Quantum and Woody, but it's also never been given a chance to prove it can't. On the other hand, a recent trail has shown we should not try to eat people, and I doubt Christopher Priest is very edible.

Albert "Vorpal Bunny Jr" Ching

Now you're saying, "So, why is it a 'toss-up'? It seems pretty clear that it's Flan!" Well, yeah. Food is better than comics. I could go without comics. I could go without Christopher Priest (not that way, pervo!). Then again, I' ve never had Chicken Flan, as I said. If the question was "Priest vs. Water" I'd say water, of course. I'd take ATP reserves over Priest. I'd take Glucose over Priest. But Flan? Nah.

I really like QUANTUM AND WOODY. And STEEL. I don't do XER0. As for the SOLAR mimi-series, #1 I didn't get (likely because my only exposure to Acclaim comics was Q/W, and this Solar guy lost me. Why was he naked again?) But, yeah, I'm saying Priest. I met the guy, this June. When I told him my name, he seemd to know me for some reason. He said he though I'd be 40. Then again. he's also a liar...but who can blame him.

So: Priest. Even though Chicken Flan would never have the hots for my sister...

Yeah, this is way more than a 100 words. Oh well.

David "Star Gentle Uterus" Goldfarb

Max "He Can Count to 100" Chittister

Loud angry black man
writes Acclaim flagship title.
Goats eat chicken flan.

I like flan better,
but if I don't vote for Priest,
then he'll blow up Seoul.

Later on

Edward "You Should Get Out More" Mathews

WHY CHICKEN FLAN IS BETTER THAN CHRISTOPHER J. PRIEST

Chicken flan tastes good.

CJP's Xer0 tastes like paper. If you add salt, it tastes like salty paper. If you add milk, it tastes like milky paper (unless you are lactose intolerant. Then you'll avoid it unless you took your medication).

Chicken flan is both the chicken and the egg.

So are CJP villains.

Chicken flan has a certain consistancy that you can rely on.

CJP is great when he's consistant (see Xer0), but you can't always rely on it (see The Ray).

When chicken flan gets baked, it is ready to be served to others.

CJP: Shaken, not stirred. 'Nuff said.

Chicken flan has always been chicken flan.

CJP feels no shame for playing the name game. "Jimmy, Jimmy, bo-bimmy, banana-fana fo-fimmy, me-my-mo-mimmy... Jimmy! Let's do Chris!..."

"Flan de Pollo" sounds cooler in spanish than "Donde estas Paco Irons?" or "Cuidado! Es el Parademon Miguelito!" (well, ok... "Cuidado! Es el Parademon Miguelito!" does sound pretty cool, but you can order "Flan de Pollo"...)

Chicken flan is pronounced just as you would believe it is pronounced. "Will-hane".

If you line CJP in a flan dish, he will probably either run away or pop you one in the head.

If you sprinkle cheese on him, I'm sure he'd pop you one in the head.

Chicken flan doesn't have that kind of a temper, even when it is piping hot.

Finally, I'd rather have the leeks in chicken flan than to have CJP take a... never mind.

Eric "Don't Diss the Flan, Man" Gimlin

Chicken Flan has no known published comic book credits, under any alias, that I have been able to find. Christopher Priest does. Given those conditions, Christopher Priest is better than Chicken Flan, as is just about any comic book professional (Insert your own Liefeld joke here.)

Mike "He's Really Very Huggable" Chary

Da "What the HECK is a DaFlash?" Flash

White Flan Can't Jump

Chicken Flan vs Priest. Priest vs Chicken Flan. This is a test of greatness only measured by Field Sports. Now, Let's Go to Marv Albert for the lineup.

Or Not. Seems he's "busy"

Oh. Wow. I have the Lineup right here. The Three main events are:

Priest vs Flan in Roller Hockey

Naturally agile as he is, Priest can't keep up with the flan. The oil residue of the Flan the ground serves to trip up Priest, as the Flan goes on to take it.

Flan 1-0

Priest vs Flan in Basketball

As the saying goes, "White Flan can't Jump" Score one for Da Man. Priest 1-1

Priest vs Flan in Golf

The Flan, with his cooked chicken legs can't seem to get momentum with his Golf swing. Flan subsequently loses when Priest scores -6 on a Par 70 course,. And Flan scores 483. Priest 2-1

There it is. Priest is better than Flan. Don't let it be said however, that Chicken Flan wasn't a contender. After all, Flan is the big cheese.

Doug "Dear God, Man. I said 100 words or less. I didn't mean multiple entries of 100 words! I've got some morphine that might help calm you down"

We must first journey back in our minds to a time before television was invented. Even further -- back to a time when moose ruled the earth. Ah moose! The majestic master of the mists. The "large, long-headed deer of the Northern Hemisphere." The strong-snouted Cervidae with "enormous palmate antlers." Who can deny that this mighty creature, Alces alces, is the true gem of that barren, northern wasteland we call Canada? No one! That is the answer! No one can disparage this regal ruminant! This enormous envy of the elks. This, um, the... I'm sorry; what was the question?

Thank you!
Doug

I will now scientifically and mathematically prove that flan is better than Christopher Priest, using the tried-and-true method of Modified Verbal Correlation (MVC).

"Flan" sounds like "pan," which I think it's baked in, so one point.
"Christopher Priest" sounds like "big Rover's fleas," which doesn't apply, so zero points.

"Flan" sounds like "man," but it's not one, so zero points.
"Christopher Priest" sounds like "blistering feet," but he doesn't have those (and that's kind of gross, anyway) so zero points.

"Flan" sounds like "cran-," the prefix used when adding cranberries to any other foodstuff. Cran-flan actually sounds mildly appetizing, so one point.
"Christopher Priest" sounds like "Mister BoPeep," but I don't think he's married to a sheep-herder, so zero points.

"Flan" sounds like Spam, so zero points. "Christopher Priest" doesn't sound like Spam, so one point.

"Flan" sounds like "Blam!," which is a really cool sound effect,

but it doesn't necessarily apply to flan, so one-half point. "Christopher Priest" sounds like "cooking with meat," which reminds me of flan, so one point.

"Flan" sounds like "Fran (Drescher)," the star of "The Nanny," so minus one point.
"Christopher Priest" probably doesn't sound like Fran Drescher so plus one point.

"It's flan-tastic!" sounds better than "It's Priest-eriffic!" so

plus one point for flan and minus one point for Christopher Priest.

Final score (as tracked by the MVC respons-o-meter):
Flan = 2.5
Christopher Priest = 2.0

So clearly, it is undeniable that flan is better than Christopher Priest, at least for the purposes of this contest.

Thank you.

David "No Fun" Snyder

Patrick "Another S" Danner

Well That's my hundred word entry. I would've liked to talk further about which you would rather have on a desert island, with the flan winning with the survivability factor. After all, a lifetime supply of Priest comics would give you something to do, but a lifetime supply of chicken flan would give you, well, a lifetime. That and chicken flan tastes better than Priest (and what wine would you serve with human flesh, anyway?).

But I limited my entry to a hundred words, being a stickler for rules. Learning to follow rules to the letter is just part of growing up Catholic, which has also taught me the importance of a good priest. Yet despite the priest shortage my church has five, and I still can't get no flan.

That's it! Thanks a lot folks. And until next time (yes, there IS a next time), take care!